Juking the stats

Making felonies into misdemeanors

Round 1: Carcetti vs. Royce

Carcetti

Royce

Winner: Avon

Votes for Avon (5)

Votes for Prop Joe (0)

Poll Results:
Avon 27-4

Name a Horse

A friend of mine who shows horses just got a new horse and needs a name. An avid fan of the Wire, she wants it to be Wire-related. It also needs to be clever. Or possibly fancy.

Characteristics of the horse:
It's gray.
It just came from Europe.

She has committed to letting Crownofthewire.blogspot.com name her horse. Please submit all possible names in posts within 24 hours. Whoever wins gets a free horse. Commence.

Avon

Avon. It's not even close in my book. Prop Joe is a great addition to the show, but his efforts to make the game a business, like String, ultimately are futile. Avon knew what it took, and if he deserves to advance. He is the most entertaining and captivating kingpin on the show in my opinion. Plus I would love to grab some hennessey with him. And hennessey is disgusting.

Avon

E-Rob is right, Avon wins.  Joe deserves a lot of credit for being a real important character that added a lot to this show.  Avon is just too awesome to lose here. Sorry Joe.  Joe is also really fat which is kind of funny.  

Avon

Avon wins, but I gotta say a few words about Prop Joe before he goes. Joe was concerned with one thing: profit. He was good at making money, too. He was able to obtain the best dope connect in Baltimore through the Greek. He also negotiated a peace with Stringer and other Baltimore drug dealers, forming the New Day Co-op and decreasing the body count while increasing the income. Unfortunately for him, the same attributes that led to his success (a desire to work with people and cut down on violence) led to his downfall. He did not understand that not everyone could be trusted. He tried working with Marlo, not realizing that Marlo would only be satisfied when he was running everything. The irony is, Joe made Marlo. Without Joe, Marlo would not have met Levy or the dirty minister who laundered money. He could not have bought the connect from the Greeks. Marlo used the knowledge Joe imparted to bring him down. Marlo was assisted by Joe's nephew, Cheese, whom Joe kept close despite knowing he was "a disappointment."

Avon, meanwhile, lacked Joe's weakness for trusting people and was an extremely important character in Seasons 1 and 3. He moves on here. Now, time to kill off Joe:

Poor Ziggy

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/28/opinion/28kristof.html?ref=todayspaper

Avon

This has got to be Avon. Kind of surprising that there are still blowouts in the second round, but that's definitely the case here. So, I am just going to post some absurd links. And, not all about Avon.



We war on that lie



Wallace is out of pocket, two days.



What I tell you bout playing those fuckin away games.



You think I'd run a stop with 40k?

SOTU (Avon)

Obama's State of the Union Address is a couple hours away. This reminds me of the scene in Season 1 when McNulty refuses to join the team when they go chasing after Avon after the basketball game. Why does McNulty need to see what he looks like? Why do I care what Obama says tonight? Anything important has almost certainly already been reported, and if not, will DEFINITELY be reported by tomorrow. For example, I already know Obama is going to say "we face a deficit of trust." This is SO important. Which should we conquer first -- the deficit of trust or the deficit of hope? All I know is tonight will be 1 hour (at least 2 hours) of Obama boringness. I'd rather be getting hammered with McNulty and Bunk. People are retarded.

I vote for Avon. Give him his fucking corners.

Round 2: Avon vs. Prop Joe

Avon

Prop Joe

Winner: Bunk

Votes for Bunk (6)

Votes for Sydnor (0)

Poll Results:
Bunk 10-0

Bunk

Jimmy taught me that.

Da Bunk

Sorry about cha Sydnor, but ya can't stand up to the greatest character in the history of television. Which raises the question, why are we even doing this competition? Bunk walks, cause he never runs.

Bunk

Bunk is infinitely more entertaining. Never while watching the show did I say "Holy shit, Sydnor's on screen! This is gonna be awesome." In contrast, Bunk was in countless classic scenes, one of which is posted below. Bunk, easily.

Bunk

No contest.

So I was in a staff meeting at work the other day when the kindly old receptionist lady interrupted by saying, "The Fedex guy is here. He says he's got a big package." I was one of only 3 people out of 30 who laughed out loud. Accountants are the worst.

Bunk

Bunk's cigar/dong/left pinky finger beats Sydnor here. Loved Syd, but we have barely scratched the surface on describing how awesome Bunk is. I'll save that for later rounds.

The Bunk

Sydnor is awesome because his development might be the most fun to watch.  The scene when he's running the surveillance team show how he's become an excellent investigator thanks in the most part to Lester.  However, Bunk is far too dominant for Sydnor to even press him here.  Bunk might be the greatest character in the whole show.  I love him with all my heart and would love to get drunk with him some time and light shit on fire.  He's amazing.  To me there is no question here, sorry Leander.  

"Me on the glenlivet, you on the jamey..."

Bunk vs. Sydnor

Bunk

Sydnor

Winner: Chris

Votes for Chris (5):
Teev
Alps
Poe House
Zoo Zoo
E-Rob

Votes for Snoop (0)


Poll Results:

18-9 Chris

Can a "real gangsta ass nigga" still flex his nuts?

In the Geto Boys’ rap “Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangster,” (made famous by its appearance in “Office Space” and Barack Obama’s presidential victory celebration), the Geto Boys opine about what it means to be a “real gangster ass nigga..” At one point, they state that “real gangsta ass niggas don’t flex nuts, cause real gangsta ass niggas know they got ‘em.” I want to analyze this statement in terms of the Wire because, for me, the Wire most accurately depicts “real gangsta ass niggas.”

First, its important to define what flexing nuts really means. I see flexing nuts as saying or doing things to prove one’s manhood to others (and possibly also to the flexer himself). In the Wire world, a nut flexer might boast of how many people he’s killed (think D’Angelo in season 1) or kill people for no reason other than to prove to others that he’s tough.

So who in the Wire flexes his nuts? Well, like I said, D’Angelo clearly flexes his nuts to show the boys in the pit he’s tough. He claims to have killed Avon’s fine ass bitch (he hadn’t seen one finer since) when in fact it was Wee-bay. Surely, Namond is constantly flexing his nuts to the point that his nuts must be bleeding from the frequency and intensity of their flexing.

But I also think Marlo does some nut flexing of his own. I focus on Marlo because he seems to me to be the epitome of a “real gangsta ass nigga.” Lets look at when he kills the security guard. Clearly this person posed no threat to Marlo or his reputation. Marlo simply kills him, or has him killed, because he can. Is Marlo flexing his nuts in this instance? I would initially say yes, except for the fact that the security guard goes into a vacant. The bodies in the vacants are never meant to be found. Therefore, these murders don’t seem like attempts to show others how Marlo is such a badass. Killing someone to make a point to others, only to then hide it, would defeat the entire purpose.

However, Marlo’s killing of June Bug comes to mind. Marlo kills June Bug because he supposedly said that Marlo sucks dick. Michael questions Marlo’s decision to kill June Bug in the beginning of this clip:

No attempts are made to hide June Bug’s murder. In fact, Marlo murders June Bug’s entire family (with the exception of that one kid) and leaves them in their home for the whole world to see. (Contrast the June Bug murders with the murders of those left in the vacants. In the vacant murders, Marlo uses the vacant homes to cover up the killings. In the June Bug murders, Marlo uses their home to show the whole world what Marlo will do to you if you suggest that he repeatedly gargles ballsack.)

Now this killing could be explained by the fact that Marlo might be perceived as weak by rivals if he does not kill June Bug for calling him a dicksuck. Marlo might think, perhaps correctly, that if he allows one rival to call him a dicksuck, then soon many others, including those that work with him and could possibly bring him down, might be calling him a dicksuck, thereby preventing Marlo from effectively running his organization and protecting his interests. But killing June Bug’s ENTIRE family seems excessive. You’d think that Marlo could still protect his interests in this regard by just killing June Bug. So is this an instance of Marlo flexing his nuts?

And if so, are the Geto Boys correct? If Marlo flexes his nuts, is Marlo a “real gangster ass nigga?” What other characters in the Wire flex nuts? Does this make them weaker characters (on the street and in this tournament)? Which characters are “real gangster ass niggas” as the Geto Boys define them?

Things to think about on a Saturday without football…

Chris

Anything I say here will echo what has already been posted on the subject, so I will keep it short. Chris moves on because he is a deeper character. The viewer gets brief glimpses into his family life and his past (with the violent beating of Bug's dad). He is cold, calculating, and intelligent. Other than the aforementioned beating of Bug's dad, he remains detached from his work and his victims, which, as mentioned by Poe House, brings to mind serial killers. He has an almost supernatural quality to him that makes the boys talk in hushed tones about "special dead." Snoop is merely a street thug who wants to be feared on the corner, although an extraordinarily effective one. She doesn't have the brains to rise to the top and become a kingpin. The viewer knows nothing about where she came from. Her primary appeal comes from her being an unlikely street thug given her sex and comical appearance. I still wonder how somebody who looks so damn ridiculous can be so intimidating. Still, Chris is the more complete character and moves on.